After a day that began with some meanie Facebook friend flagging me as being annoying, having a dauntingly exciting meeting that might thrust my career into maximum overdrive sooner than expected and having my fun night with Mr Big being cancelled, this girl needs a touch of fun.
The mood is perfectly set for it. I've just come home from drinks ... or should I say one drink that left me totally tipsy ... with a gorgeous friend of mine that I haven't seen in over three years. She's happy in love and taking dinner to her equally gorgeous boyfriend so I came home (to my mom) with my favourite comfort food - margarita pizza with salad on top and smothered in balsamic vinegar. It's the closest to heaven that I'm getting tonight.
After sobbing my eyes out with Greggie this afternoon, he gave me that "she's turning into the workaholic" look and told me that I getting back to that space where I drive myself to a point of burnout. He's right!
So what's fun at 9pm when I'm slightly tipsy, sexually unsatisfied and eating calories way beyond a daily allowance? Some silly fun ... in the form of my afternoon escape that I'd like to share with you. While waiting for the tears to stop flowing and calming down enough to retract the "I never want to hear from you again" sms that I sent Mr Big, I went to check out my monthly stats for 'project me'. Yep, that always cheers me up! Today I went a little further down the page and spent a while looking at what people Google to have landed on my blog ... and the more I read the more I giggled.?Admittedly I'm giggling at someone else's expense but I'm a little tipsy and find anyone's distress a little refreshing in the moment ... although I do hope that they found what they were looking for on 'project me'.
So here are my top 35 Google searches where people found there way to 'project me':
1. Dreaming of tree routes (Um ... I doubt I was any help there!)
2. Skype sex (My mom would be so proud!)
3. My first valentine's ball (Oh how sweet ... um wrong blog oh innocent one!)
4. ?How to make a girl crazy about you (Ah, where is he?)
5. ?New boyfriend what to do in the morning after you spend the night (Ok, she found nothing here and how did the word boyfriend mildly associate itself with my blatantly single life?)
7. ?Couches (I kid you not ... and they are so looking in the wrong place seeing as though I don't even own one!)
8. In the future every man wants to be famous (Really?)
9. ?Can spiders love (Um? So tempted to know the answer to this one ... or how closely attached the googler was to that spider ... eeeewww)
10. ?How many times a day must I gym (Is that a typo dude? I battle to drag my ass the three times a week and you wanna go more than once a day?)
11. ?Something deep and cute to say to someone special (Ok that should so come from the heart and not from Google!)
12. Why me? (Tee hee hee ... I ask that every day of my life and haven't been able to answer it yet.)
13. ?What's the bazaariest (their spelling) mexican food (Again ... WTF)
14. ?Deep dark secrets blog (Oooh ... if you dig deep enough you might find some of those here.)
15. ?Boobs (That's a broad scope to Google!)
16. ?Queen of contraceptive pills (Is there someone famous I don't know?)
17. ?Age difference (Pity my blog doesn't have a flashing sign for this answer ... RUN!)
18. ?Orgasm (Yay ... glad I could help!)
19. I've been told I have low esteem (Is that a question?)
20. Ricky Martin sneezing (No ways!)
21. ?Healthy Mary full of Grace (Even the Jewish/Pagan girl knows its Holy Mary full of Grace)
22. ?Naked aunty (Yes I'm both but not at the same time.)
23. ?Do men have low self esteem (and I thought women faked it well)
24. ?How do I know if he is serious about me (Ask!)
25. ?Why do my ex and I keep poking each other on Facebook (Um ... well, why do your ex and you keep poking each other on Facebook?)
26. ?How do you stop loving someone (Ah, I have to blog about this one ... because there is never a need to stop loving someone even if you can't stay)
27. ?pee hold it crossed legs (Jodene giggles)
28. ?Overscale boobs (How naive am I?)
29. The right way to hold hands (Is this cute or just?weird?)
30. ?What religion is Keith Urban (I just wanna know the?relevance?)
31. ?Typical male (Tee hee ... is that not the most open ended search ever?)
32. ?My toe next to my little toes is really swollen and red what is wrong with it? (Who needs doctor when you have Google ... and 'project me'?)
33. ?How many calories in a cheese griller (this I gotto know!)
34. ?He pokes but never calls or sms's (I just swallowed an olive pip while laughing!)
35. ?And save the best for last ... JODENE IS ANNOYING ... (Someone googled that? Can I say that even though there are hundreds of us I took is so personally and did the Google search ... and no. there is no blog dedicated to people thinking me or any other amazing Jodene in this world is annoying ... ssshhhhooo!)
Jo your blog post made me laugh. I just love your comments to the search keywords.
I get some interesting ones too ;P. Hope you ended up having a much better day.
And don't let your blog hater bring you down, you have so many followers hanging
on to each and every sentence!
*hugs*
I would love to see your keywords they must be very interesting and super funny. I'd love you to do the same and post it for my readers.
As for the little meanie of Facebook ... I think they just wanna win blogging competitions as much as I do and you know how in your face I can be. I'm tough competition 😉
Thanks for all the love and support my friend.
Hahahaha... and people wonder how I make a living out of driving targeted traffic to a website.
I've always wanted to try my...erm... hand... at porn. :p The fact that you're already driving traffic for the term "boobs" is impressive. I believe it's a hard industry to penetrate!
😀 K... enough said. Interesting breakdown. But looking through that it would seem that many of the bizarre ones are better ranked locally. Now that really begs the question what is wrong with the average South African?!
Hey, I'm just sayin'
hehehehe...
xox
My recent post Bohemian Rhapsody
Tee hee hee ... I was having a serous boob crisis though ... and I just love your ability to talk with such coded sordid gestures 😉
I still wish i got what you did a little clearer ... besides promoting Britney with such gusto, marrying peeps in Texas and cooking meet to perfection even though you don't eat it. 😉
Hmmm... Jack of all trades, master of none 😉
Ultimately my official working title is "Search Engine Analyst" (or the SEO guy... or the Google Guy). Ultimately I'm like a website architect. While I don't know how the guys do it, I just tell the developers how to create a website, how to map it, how to shape things and ultimately how to phrase things so that a website will rank for certain keyword phrases.
Prior to that I would have worked out the most common way people phrase their searches so that our keyword phrases are actually searched often enough to generate sufficient traffic to the website to make it worthwhile.
Ultimately it's just another slice of that big pie called "Internet Marketing".
Or Ultimately, I do as little as possible while sounding as busy as possible. 😀
My recent post Bohemian Rhapsody
You see I thought that was what you do but I can't ever really shift my mind away from you organising parties at work and making peeps laugh before the close of day. Seriously ... I think you can make a career out of it 😉
Don't rank people higher than me though 😉
Well that's what I'm paid to do, the rest, well... that's just the Awesomeness 😉
I'd never do that, surely that's a conflict of interests?
My recent post Bohemian Rhapsody
I doubt you and me will ever have a conflict 😉