What's in a Facebook poke? - project me day 157

8 June 2010

Nothing is meaningless. No one actually does something for no reason at all. Not even the Facebook poke.
I remember my humble introductions to Facebook and feeling my way around making friends and joining a whole bunch of pointless applications and groups. I also remember receiving a message from a friend who told me to 'poke them back' ... how rude!

Pretty pointless is the poke, yet my Blackberry pings all day with a 'you've ?been poked'!
I don't know about you, but I've got my regular pokes and then some random ones and then some 'who the hell are you' ones ... yet I always poke with purpose.

I've got the long distance and wish I could really poke, poke! He's on the other side of the world and we've been Facebook friend and poking each other for three years now. Yep ... back and forth ... poke, poke, poke with hidden message that if we were a little closer ... well, there would be the real deal. Oh ... we all know what the poke really means to some people.

Actually ... I've never poked anyone that I've been poking ... but I hear that happens a lot. Now that must be a fun poke!

Then there's the stranger's poke ... now we've never even said hello but met on one of these dating site applications and one day, out of the blue ... poke! Yep ... we poke strangers for no reason at all, yet they don't feel so strange after a few months of poking.

Oh dear ... we all have the unrequited poke. I've thrown a few of those out there in the hope that the poke will return along with some?acknowledgement that my poke has struck an ounce of emotion ... but no! That's all!

The 'I'm not sure if you want to know me' poke creeps in every once in a while. You've accepted the Facebook friendship and said 'Hi' once or twice ... but then it's dwindled and now you want to know where you stand. Just ask ... why dont' you!

The anticipated poke ... now that's from Greggie who likes to keep the suspense going and doesn't return the poke for days and sometimes weeks on end. That is in order to create the element of 'Surprise!!!!'. Yet, with my nature, I battle to not return the poke immediately.

The 'I miss my dear friend' poke also comes from across the miles ... all the way from Aus to be exact and it's a special reminder that distance doesn't take away from the special bond of friendship.

I'm sure we have all received the 'this is how I show you that I like you' poke. Now the person is sweet enough and a part of you does like them and it's fine for this kind of poking ... but no other. What message does the return of the poke send? Being sweet enough doesn't mean that you have to be denied a poke and made to feel that you don't deserve pokes. So ... you poke the sweet person back ... but just enough to send the message that it shall go no further than this poke.

The random or horny poke that comes in spurts and always shows the head space of the poker. You know you poked last and then they just stopped poking. It happened at about the time that you made it clear that there would be no other poking or his status's show that he's poking someone else. So the interest falls away for a while ... until out of the blue ... poke! Oh dear ... horny random poke.

We haven't spoken in ages and we're not quite sure where we stand ... so we poke! Hold our breath and wait to see if the poke is returned. If it is then life has just passed us by and all is well. It doesn't even mean we'll put in more effort to talk or see each other ... the poke was like a shot of adrenalin for the friendship ... until the months pass and we do the poke test again.

Then there's the poke that got me all in a knot and has a direct impact of 'project me'. Poking is random fun and so is my mission for the project. Ok more fun than random ... but fun is the key. Goalless is also one of the links in the chain that holds me together ... yet the poke is irritating the shit out of me. It's not fun ... it's?feeble ... and it's making matters worse. Text Guy and I never had anything romantic ... just friends. It was more from my side that the friendship never went further, but none the less we used to sms all the time and chat a few times a week. We went for dinner and for lunch and I used to keep him company when he worked on weekends. Friends ... he met my friends and we bonded ... friends!
Then he met a girl and slowly the phone calls stopped and then the sms's ... but the poke continued.
The sms was sent to say that I miss the friendship ... and I am trying to understand that a relationship changes things ... ok, that's a lie! I've never understood why falling into a relationship severs a bond between two people ... that's just dumb! There is not threat and it's not like we are ex's and that is hanging over our heads. If anything, we maintained a friendship ... and now it's hanging on a poke.

I did all my poking ... but never returned that one. It's been sitting in my poke box for a day now, yet I haven't deleted it. If I don't poke back will that signal the end of the friendship. If I do poke back and I being honest with myself because it's not fun poking when I miss the person I'm poking!

To most of the world it's just a poke ... to others, it's the only way we can say what we really mean.

Well, that would be a failure on the part of 'project me' and I know that being true to myself is phoning my friend and saying 'I miss you' and then deciding whether the to poke with pure intention! No ... nothing is ever without meaning or purpose ... not even a Facebook poke.

13 comments on “What's in a Facebook poke? - project me day 157”

  1. I don't really get the whole poke thing, but then again I'd rather call than text...I'm weird I know. I never really read that much into a poke, but now I will, LOL.

    I agree, one relationship shouldn't cancel out another. Ex or not really, I'm still good friends with one of my ex's and so is Bo. I know some people can't see that a man and a woman can be friends and not do the nasty. I feel sorry for them really. They're missing out on some awesome relationships.
    My recent post What is up with men today??

    1. Well Text Guy finally called and said that he has no excuse for not calling ... so he'll get his poke tomorrow morning after I've let him stew over it for a while ... lol!!!

      I also prefer to call, but everyone seems to be in a different head now! I know ... it's up to me to make that damn call but then the stubborn streak doesn't help!!

  2. The poke function was fun in my early days of Facebook but as the site's structure changed so did the frequency of poking dwindle. As ex and I poked each other every time we logged on thus letting the other know when we were facebooking, sometimes even when we were sitting next to each other. We did manage to refrain from fb poking during poking poking thankfully.

    Pokity poke poke.

    1. Ok, I can't lie ... I still poke with much enthusiasm! But then again the smallest things do amuse me ... lol!!!

      I'm not gonna be poking you then ... been there, done that and got the ... unrequited no poke back ... tee hee

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  4. I am trying to figure out the poke from a colleague. He private messaged me first and we did that a couple days and then he has just been poking. He thinks it means hey and he even poked during a messaging session. I have sent private messages to which he responds, but he has not iniitated them, but will poke me several times a day. Can anyone explain that? Why go from messaging, which was kind of flirty, to just poking?

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