When is it going to rain? - project me day 278

7 October 2010

It's not only me freaking out about this questions. Can you believe that it's been googled 53 million times. I kid you not ... here's proof: When is it going to rain?

Facebook and Twitter statuses have been teasing and taunting me all freaking day and the worst part is that some people in different parts of Joburg were boasting about dancing in the rain. I'm the dancing in the rain girl. I'm the chick with the Goddess tattoo on my back who has been dancing in the first summer rain for years. I'm the chick who sat in my bathing costume the whole day waiting to dash out (ok ... hobble out) into the rain and do my annual 'Thanks for the rain" dance.

It literally rained all around me. I could see it in the distance ...OMG! I could smell it, I could hear it and I could see the magical flashes of lightening teasing the whole day.

I've been called a tease in my life and if it feels anything like this then I fall to my knees and apologise to any person (man ... we all know the teasing we are talking about here) who has ever felt teased and taunted. It's hell and all I'm waiting for is to feel the first summer rains on my body ... especially when this body has been cooped up in bed and locked away from the world and needs fresh air, nature and the healing feeling of rain.

Meanwhile it's the most I've laughed in days. It was a beautiful day despite not being rained on and being let down for a healing treatment that I was so looking forward to.
Making exciting plans without knowing what tomorrow holds is the perfect 'project me' way to spend a day. Totally purposeful, yet totally goalless.
Sometimes I wonder why so many people read 'project me' ... thanks stats! And today I got it ... I might have been in the worst agony of my life and haven't even been unable to work, write or live my passion but I have not had one day of hopelessness. I'm not just saying it ... I mean it! I read people's statuses and see what is going on around me and I am concerned at how few people see that everything is exactly as it should be and that we have choice, power and enough self worth to change, do and be anything.

My mom keeps arguing with me that she doesn't believe that we choose things like me getting sick like this and I keep telling her that it's irrelevant that I believe every single moment is choice. Every choice gets us to the exact point we are at. That's also just belief but the bottom line is we get to a point where we have to realise that there IS a choice. That all we have is choice ... and that's a damn lot. That's 'project me' ... and even though I can't jump up and down with excitement that I am still positive and know everything is exactly as it should be ... I'm damn proud of me right now.

I lay on the bed not being able to do much while I watched Greggie and my mom working their butts off and reminded myself that my lesson at the moment is to do nothing. It also seems to be that we always complain about being rained on, but actually it's the most refreshing experience when it does.

How does it go? ... The sun will come out tomorrow! Well I just want the rain to fall on my parade 😉

7 comments on “When is it going to rain? - project me day 278”

  1. 😀 be careful what you wish for...

    I'll argue that we choose things that happen, but will easily conceed that things happen... it's what we choose to do (good or bad) that really matters. Generally that has something to do about awesomeness. :p

    Ah, the summer rain... it teases. Mostly because most people forget how fantastic it is. Somehow it needs to remind some of us just much we really need it. More than the land or body the soul really does cry out for just a handful of rain. A little more is rarely refused mind you.

    Hang in there it's coming... might just be waiting for when you choose to be ready to go dancing in it. 😉

  2. If it rains anytime soon over here I'll go dance for you Jo! I haven't done that in years, terrible huh.

    Your blog is the most positive, most inspiring blog I've ever read. You know me, I'm a glass half empty, has a crack in it and the liquid is dripping out kinda girl. Pessimism is my forte ;), but I am trying to be optomistic. Because of you <3
    My recent post Good in with the bad

    1. What a special message my friend ... I know that things aren't always easy but I don't see the pessimism as much as you do. I see the bravest and most alive woman I could possible know!

      I adore my blogging friend!!!

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