Why am I doing this anyway? - project me day 366

1 January 2011

Well here I am, one whole year later, and I can't say that my life is anywhere that I had imagined or hoped it would be. The imagined part is better than I could have ever dreamed, but the hoped seems to be just as far off as ever. It took me years to even begin to master the art of 'project me' and I step into the second year of my much more conscious and purposeful journey, I feel that I am in for one hell of a ride.

Okay, I don't feel it, I know it!
I've spent most of the day contemplating what I want to put energy into and then why it's so important for me to focus my energy on that. It's obviously been a lot about my weight, having removed myself from dating sites and why I chose to do it and what emotional things I don't want to waste my energy on anymore. I looked at my strengths and weaknesses, the things that scared me and the solid foundation that I laid throughout 2010.

Greggie asked me interesting question today. He asked me how I reflect back on a year? It took me a moment to acknowledge my usual pattern of being mean to myself, but then I reminded myself that one of the greatest gifts I gave myself was realising that being purposeful is so much more than having goals. It's been a challenge to start yet another girl and remind myself of just how incredible last year ways, even though most of it was overcoming stuff from heartache, to injury to financial strain. If I had set goals I think I would have been bitterly?disappointed?... you see, goals take time away and dispel the fears on not being able to achieve what you set out to do.

So once again, I start the year knowing that I can be so much healthier and that my body has the potential to be stronger and fitter. I have the potential to give so much love and share my life and I can't wait to have a greater voice, within the world, that inspires and motivates. There is money waiting for me and new adventures of happiness to be discovered ... even though at this very moment I am so proud of myself and know that everything is exactly as it should be.

On that note, I spent most of the day researching the points system of weight watchers. It's amazing that South Africans don't share information freely on the internet ... so thank you Americans for your free spirited natures with your information and resources. The downside is that half the food on the list isn't in SA and that we don't work in ounces. That aside ... I know that I have 31 points a day that I can eat and for the first time I understand what it means to be able to judge what my body needs ... because I haven't mastered the art of hearing my poor body speak yet.

On the single front ... that's not such a train smash. I'm more concerned about stopping the desperate searching and using that time that I float aimlessly around the internet on my own relationship with me ... there is going to be a lot of that this year.

I have been told that there is a lot more of my personality that I should be showing the world. I know that I have big fears of what people will think if I let the full extent of my personality out ... and don't go telling me to do it, because I haven't let it out for so long that I don't know the extent of what it is. I do know it's big though ... and impactful .. and outspoken ... and free thinking ... and that scares the bajeebers out of me.

Anyway ... here's to you and your happy New Year. I hope that through my journey you have the difference between setting goals in comparison to the power of being purposeful. If not ... let me know and I'll help you along. On that note ... I'm doing the final touches to the 'project me community' and I will be there to guide you along your own 'project me' journey ... not much longer! In the meantime, just go out there and have a whole lot of fun!

PS ... a white wine spritzer is 2 points 😉

6 comments on “Why am I doing this anyway? - project me day 366”

  1. You had me at wine. 😉

    What a year... I'm not sure exactly where we'll be in a year from now, but we'll still be. That is the important bit.


  2. I firmly believe I am allergic to goals but by golly I keep making them...and keep blowing those puppies into a million pieces. I'd love to have your insight and help on stopping this terrible cycle.

    Good luck on WW! I loved it, the food was good and you don't have to give up everything that you love which is a huge plus for me ;)...if only I wasn't so sidetracked with everything else I'd still be on it.
    My recent post Welcoming the new year!

    1. Ah, the mere fact that you keep one thing up means that you aren't as far off as you think dear girl! I could also say that I'm a shocker at keeping them but then I remember the things I do manage to keep up ... like blogging! Ooh, it looks like we are both achieving a special goal 😉

  3. I am with you "all the way" from today's blog.
    Thank you for wanting to take me on this amazing journy with you.
    Thank you for "shaering" SO much of your life with me.
    Luya Jo Jo xxx

    1. This is such a special comment and moment mom. The blog has changed so much since its humble beginnings a year ago and I have learned to write more freely and with much more awareness and honestly. Thank you for allowing me to be me and sharing my journey with such love and pride!

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