The days are ticking by and single is becoming slightly more depressing. I know this happens around birthday time, which is 8 sleeps away. As it's crept closer I keep thinking about all the messages from people in their 40's, saying it was the most fab time and get ready for the naughty forties. Honestly, I've had one burst of single life, naughty fun and all the rest of the highs and excitement has come from my career and travel.
By now, I'm sure you know that country music saves my soul. The expectation that it's going to be a dreary song, with a banjo, about cancer or Jesus, is not entirely true. I'm slowly starting to show my friends around me, that it's beautiful stories and special messages.
This week I tried to do some online dating and it turned out to be such a gross disaster that I could hardly get out of bed yesterday. I dared to question if I'm not pretty enough, funny enough, sexually open enough ... STOP!!!
Headphones in, I turned to some music to settle my weary heart and ended up listening to a song that most people would sing to someone else. Every word I took in, I started to sing to me!! It's not the first time it's happened and just last week I did a Tweet saying that we should sing ourselves more love songs.
Here are the words that got me, from one of my fave country groups, Rascal Flatts:
You think you're lost
But you're not lost on your own
you're not alone
I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you've done all you can do
If you can't cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I won't let go
And I won't let you fall
Don't be afraid to fall
I'm right here to catch you
I won't let you down
It won't get you down
you're gonna make it
Yeah I know you can make it
We are human and we all want this. I'm not even going to attempt faking that I'm all up in the self help vibe of saying that I have to love myself first and blah blah, if you've been reading this blog for a while you know that I get self love pretty damn right and I can also completely take care of myself, so sometimes the solutions that everyone swears by don't make the manifestation. So I'm going to go with the cliche of, "all in good time" ...
So I'm just gonna keep being my fighter and my strength and singing myself love songs until another human finds me and understands what is means to sing a love song to themselves.
If you can't watch this video, then please find any way you can to hear the special words to I won't let go by Rascall Flatts ... then find your own love song and I would love to know that it is.